Response to Tom Holmoe 11/28/12

1.     Think of three relationships that you wish were at the significant stage, but currently are not there. For each relationship you want to improve write one goal about how you will improve that relationship. Make sure the goals are specific. Each goal should include what relationship you want to improve and a specific action you want to take to improve that relationship.

            1.     I want to improve the relationship I have with a close extended family member. Right now I would say    that we are at stage three of the relationship stage model. I will call this family member at least every two weeks, even if it is briefly, so we can connect and update each other on our lives.

2.     The second relationship I want to improve is with a girl in my ward. We have tried to get to a stage three, but our schedules never seem to be compatible. I will try to include myself in more social situations and invite her to arts events that I attend.

3.     The third relationship I want to improve is with one of my roommates. I will specifically try to include her in my plans and let her know what is going on in my life. I strongly feel that I need to serve her more so I can have a greater love for her.

2. What can you do to remind yourself to achieve the goals you made in question 1?

I can write in my planner when to call my extended family member and pray for that person’s well-being. When that member is a part of my nightly prayers, I will think more often about that person during the day and want to share what is happening in my life. When it comes to the friend in my ward, I can invite her over for dinner. I can also include her in necessary things that I do during my day so it is easier to make time to be with her. I can also try scheduling with her earlier in advance so there is less chance of our schedules conflicting. Living with my roommate is a daily reminder of the closeness I want to strive for in our relationship. I can identify a few small ways each week that I can serve her.

3. Tom Holmoe shared many different ideas about developing relationships. Share one of your favorite ideas from his lecture. Why did you like this?

I absolutely loved his lecture and it has honestly changed my entire perspective on people and the relationships I have. I have had a paradigm shift and told all my roommates and my mom about the five stages of relationships since the lecture yesterday. I actually typed up a journal entry about class because I was so excited about the lecture. Here is my journal entry:

November 28, 2012

I just heard from the athletic director in one of my classes. He was the guest speaker and gave this wonderful presentation on motivation and teamwork. I loved it. He went over five levels of friendship, the first being no level of commitment from either party and level five being so close of friends that you need each other to be. He challenged us to be a level five friend to the people around us. He said that he isn’t worried about them with us, it’s us with them we should be concerned about. We may think our friendship is a level five because we need them to be, but they may only consider our friendship a level three. I want to be a level five friend! He said that life is more satisfying and happy for the people who have level five relationships with people. This all makes so much sense! This is why missionaries are so loved because they help converts change their lives and they literally need the missionaries to be. They need them to encourage them and help them change their lives. Mothers are incredible because their children need them, most of all, to be. This explains why I love people a lot more than they love me because I am such a needy person and I need other people to be. They don’t need me to be, but they love me because they serve me. It’s a different kind and level of love. I have a goal to strive to be the kind of person that other people need to actually be. I don’t want to be that person to gain lots of friends and great relationships, but because I genuinely want to get to know the stories of people and love and serve them because I want to help improve their lives. I know that even though I may not need people now even though I did need them in the past, I will always have endearing love for them. It’s okay if all people don’t need me all the time because that would be too difficult of a burden, but they will always love me because I hopefully helped them come closer to the Savior. They will always remember if there was true love because I remember and love the people that helped me to be during different times of my life. I remember Mrs. Dahl who helped me to be and to love school (she was my kindergarten teacher). I love my missionaries because they helped me to be and to become truly converted to the gospel.

     Great teachers can recognize potential and encourage people to become great and have the confidence to change the world for good.

     I can be my own “teacher” and enthusiast and “firelighter” even when the people around me are discouraging my goals BECAUSE my goals should ignite a passionate fire within myself. It shouldn’t matter the opinions of others. If I have consulted with God and I feel right with the goals I have chosen, it won’t matter how many pessimists and “firefighters” get in the way – I will have God on my side and be able to become great and do great things and make the world a greater place.

     “God has gifted you with leadership – don’t waste it. Give it your very best.”

      Followers are willing to sit back for the ride and let other people do all the work. Leaders STEP UP and VOLUNTEER for things because the more you do, the greater difference you can make! YOU go and make it happen. Set aside the attitudes of those around you and determine within yourself to make it happen. Find someone at church, in class, in the hallway, in your dorm who needs YOU. I need to evaluate my relationships and ask myself these questions: Are they at the stage I want them to be? If not, am I willing to put the in the necessary time and effort to improve those relationships?  If the answer is no, then I can be content with where the relationship is and leave it at that.

Response to Public Speaking 11/14/12

Please share three areas from the lecture that stood out to you as areas you need to improve on in your personal public speaking:

1.     We talked about three areas of public speaking that included the speaker’s presence, presentation, and art of persuasion. I realized that I have multiple things to improve on in each category. As much as people are taught not to judge, they do judge presenters and therefore presence is important to the credibility of a public speaker. I didn’t realize public speakers shouldn’t wear perfume or similar scents. Also, we learned that dressing in dark colors tends to be more credible, which was an interesting note because I tend to dress in lighter and brighter colors. Demeanor was also another part of presence that we discussed. It is important to have confidence because the audience can see the confidence you may or may not have. My nervousness tends to come across while I’m speaking, so this was a good reminder to act confident even if I don’t necessarily feel completely sure of myself.

2.     The structure of presentation aspect is harder for me than the presence aspect. Key components of presentation include asking several questions about the speech being given. These questions are asking why the audience cares and what problems will be solved by giving the speech. The start and finish of the speech are the most important aspects, since that is what grabs the audience in the beginning and what the audience is left with at the end. Always remember that the audience is more important than you as the speaker. Word choice also builds or destroys credibility. The speaker offered the example of the terms the airlines use to make their audience more comfortable and not shock them with surprising word choice. Shocking word choice should be used sparingly because it can quickly discredit a speaker.

3.     He also talked about resonating with people, and even though this was in the presentation category, I have a lot to improve on in this area. He gave us four examples of things to include in our speeches or presentations that will resonate with people. Those things were testimonials, specific examples, statistics, and stories. To illustrate these concepts, he gave a mock mini-speech about goal setting and used each of the four tactics. As a class, we voted on the most effective use, and a much greater number of people voted on the story than the other elements. He pointed out that although most people identify with stories the most, there will always be people that are persuaded more by the examples, testimonials, or statistics. It’s important to include as many of these aspects as possible to reach the greatest number of audience members. 

Response to Dean Kau 11/7/12

What are some communities that you can be a leader in? 

Dean Kau discussed the definition of “community” with us and it is any organization or a group of people that geographically live near each other. He used a quote that said, “BYU needs Provo as much as Provo needs BYU.” Although we as students sometimes consider BYU our own community, we do reside in the larger community of Provo. I can be a leader in the community of Provo by representing BYU wherever I go. There are so many different “mini-communities” that exist within BYU itself. My apartment, my dorm building, my Relief Society, my FHE group, my ward, and my freshman class are just a few examples of the various “communities” in which I can be a leader. The opportunities are nearly inexhaustible.

How can you become involved in a way that is reasonable considering your time?

Due to our required leadership project within the class, I have been involved in BYUSA in the Activities sub-category. Since our project’s completion, I have been thinking about what I can do to become involved at BYU.  I thought back to the beginning of the year before school started, and one of my goals was to take part in BYUSA and YServe at one point or another during the year. I can become involved by volunteering at YServe and filling the time that I would have spent on my BYUSA project with that endeavor. I know the options are nearly endless at YServe and I can find a service opportunity that I feel like I can contribute to the most while staying within my time restrictions. I think it will be a good life experience and add balance to my life to become involved with both student leadership and community-related service specifically through YServe. The Lord uses His children to bless others in different ways through both of those institutions.

You don’t need a title to lead. Great leaders are already doing so. Where else can you be a leader? 

I believe that the greatest leaders have the most long-lasting influence over people when they act as personal role models. My personal role models have had the biggest impact on my life and influenced me to change in a way more prominent leaders never could. We discussed different leaders with Dean Kau and he talked about regular people who took the initiative to be leaders in their own communities. The example I remember most was the Steven kid who had the courage to run for the school board while juggling being a college student. I firmly believe in the adage “life where you stand” and that also applies to leadership. Leadership is needed in every situation and every relationship. I believe that we are responsible to follow the Savior’s example and be a leader to the downhearted and those in need of service as well as the more visible leadership positions. 

Personal Code of Ethics 10/7/12

My Personal Code of Ethics

1.      Be kind. (It is so important to remember this when my first instinct in certain situations is to be selfish, curt, impatient, whiney, etc.)

2.      Be happy. (No one likes to be around people who are continually depressed, crying, having a bad day, or complaining.)

3.      Be enthusiastic. (Never lose my excitement, joy, and passion for the things I love or my missionary "zoo face.")

4.      Do my best. (Whether it is typing a paper, cleaning the bathroom, or talking to a person, I can only reach my potential when I am exerting all my effort and doing my very best. This is what brings true peace and satisfaction at the end of the day.)

5.      Put the Lord first. (Blessings always come when I sacrifice to put the Lord first, whether that is aligning my will with His, choosing things to fill my time that are gospel related rather than social related, or standing up for what is right in difficult situations.)

6.      Smile as much as possible. (Sister Dalton challenged the Young Women to smile every day. Smile even at strangers. A genuine smile is true beauty.)

7.      Look for unexpected/small opportunities to serve. (Small, meaningful acts of service foster love and bring others to Christ. An inspired act of service can be the answer to a person's prayer. Serving others is the principle way to have charity, the pure love of Christ.)

8.      Be healthy. (This includes getting enough rest, having personal time to rejuvenate, scheduling my time to reduce stress, eating healthy food, and exercising.)

9.   Love more than judge. (When I am tempted to judge a person’s appearance, motivations, or actions, replace that judgmental thought with thoughts of God’s love for each person, their individual worth, and the fact that I don’t know what has happened in their day or in their life to make them the way they are.)