1.
Think of three relationships that you wish were
at the significant stage, but currently are not there. For each relationship
you want to improve write one goal about how you will improve that
relationship. Make sure the goals are specific. Each goal should include what
relationship you want to improve and a specific action you want to take to
improve that relationship.
1.
I want to improve the relationship I have with a close extended
family member. Right now I would say that we are at stage three of the
relationship stage model. I will call this family member at least every two
weeks, even if it is briefly, so we can connect and update each other on our
lives.
2.
The second relationship I want to improve is with a girl in my
ward. We have tried to get to a stage three, but our schedules never seem to be
compatible. I will try to include myself in more social situations and invite
her to arts events that I attend.
3.
The third relationship I want to improve is with one of my
roommates. I will specifically try to include her in my plans and let her know
what is going on in my life. I strongly feel that I need to serve her more so I
can have a greater love for her.
2. What can you do to remind yourself to achieve
the goals you made in question 1?
I can write in my planner
when to call my extended family member and pray for that person’s well-being.
When that member is a part of my nightly prayers, I will think more often about
that person during the day and want to share what is happening in my life. When
it comes to the friend in my ward, I can invite her over for dinner. I can also
include her in necessary things that I do during my day so it is easier to make
time to be with her. I can also try scheduling with her earlier in advance so
there is less chance of our schedules conflicting. Living with my roommate is a
daily reminder of the closeness I want to strive for in our relationship. I can
identify a few small ways each week that I can serve her.
3. Tom Holmoe shared many different ideas about
developing relationships. Share one of your favorite ideas from his lecture.
Why did you like this?
I absolutely loved his
lecture and it has honestly changed my entire perspective on people and the
relationships I have. I have had a paradigm shift and told all my roommates and
my mom about the five stages of relationships since the lecture yesterday. I
actually typed up a journal entry about class because I was so excited about
the lecture. Here is my journal entry:
November 28, 2012
I just heard from the athletic director in one of my
classes. He was the guest speaker and gave this wonderful presentation on
motivation and teamwork. I loved it. He went over five levels of friendship,
the first being no level of commitment from either party and level five being
so close of friends that you need
each other to be. He challenged us to be a level five friend to the people
around us. He said that he isn’t worried about them with us, it’s us with them
we should be concerned about. We may think our friendship is a level five
because we need them to be, but they may only consider our friendship a level
three. I want to be a level five friend! He said that life is more satisfying
and happy for the people who have level five relationships with people. This
all makes so much sense! This is why missionaries are so loved because they
help converts change their lives and they literally need the missionaries to
be. They need them to encourage them and help them change their lives. Mothers
are incredible because their children need them, most of all, to be. This
explains why I love people a lot more than they love me because I am such a
needy person and I need other people to be. They don’t need me to be, but they
love me because they serve me. It’s a different kind and level of love. I have
a goal to strive to be the kind of person that other people need to actually be. I don’t want to be that person to gain lots of friends and
great relationships, but because I genuinely want to get to know the stories of
people and love and serve them because I want to help improve their lives. I
know that even though I may not need people now even though I did need them in
the past, I will always have endearing love for them. It’s okay if all people
don’t need me all the time because that would be too difficult of a burden, but
they will always love me because I hopefully helped them come closer to the
Savior. They will always remember if there was true love because I remember and
love the people that helped me to be during different times of my life. I
remember Mrs. Dahl who helped me to be and to love school (she was my
kindergarten teacher). I love my missionaries because they helped me to be and
to become truly converted to the gospel.
Great teachers
can recognize potential and encourage people to become great and have the
confidence to change the world for good.
I can be my
own “teacher” and enthusiast and “firelighter” even when the people around me
are discouraging my goals BECAUSE my goals should ignite a passionate fire
within myself. It shouldn’t matter the opinions of others. If I have consulted
with God and I feel right with the goals I have chosen, it won’t matter how
many pessimists and “firefighters” get in the way – I will have God on my side
and be able to become great and do great things and make the world a greater
place.
“God has gifted you with leadership – don’t waste it.
Give it your very best.”
Followers are willing to sit back for the
ride and let other people do all the work. Leaders STEP UP and VOLUNTEER for
things because the more you do, the greater difference you can make! YOU go and
make it happen. Set aside the attitudes of those around you and determine
within yourself to make it happen. Find someone at church, in class, in the
hallway, in your dorm who needs YOU. I need to evaluate my relationships and ask myself these questions: Are
they at the stage I want them to be? If not, am I willing to put the in the
necessary time and effort to improve those relationships? If the answer is no, then I can be content
with where the relationship is and leave it at that.
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